My friend, Vic Floresca, sent me a list of marketing definitions which made an analogy of the marketing process to that of the adventures of a libidinous cocktail party goer looking to score with the pretty lady guests. I was in marketing and I thought that I could contribute a few definitions of my own. I’m pretty sure that the younger marketing guys could add on a few more culled from the present state of marketing, media, sales, promotions and market research. Vic suggested that it should be introduced into the curriculum as Marketing 101.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" That's Direct Marketing. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him." That's Advertising. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." That's Telemarketing. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich .Will you marry me?" That's Public Relations. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich.." That's Brand Recognition. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That's Customer Feedback. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband That's Demand and supply gap. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" she turns her face towards you ------------ she is your wife ! That's competition eating into your market share I’ll give you this mink coat if you marry me. That’s premium Promotion. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say... I’m very rich, marry me. She turns her back on you. That’s a failed product launch. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say... My name is Victor Rockefeller marry me. That’s called brand extension. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say... I have a brother named Eduardo Rockefeller you will like him. That’s called variant marketing. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say... You rebuffed me once, well, I’m now rich and handsome, marry me. That’s a brand restage. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say... May I visit you tomorrow at your house? That’s called Avon marketing. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say... Would you like to go on a one month cruise with me at the Med? That’s called a test market. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say... My brother and I would like to have a date with you. Who would you prefer? That’s product preference testing. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and whisper in her ear...she slaps you. That’s called proposition testing |
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You invite her to your
big birthday bash. That’s called events marketing.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You beat a hasty retreat
after recognizing that she is an old flame you ditched.
That’s called a brand pullout.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You sidle up to her and
say I’m tall, dark, handsome and richly endowed.
That’s a transgression of the truth in advertising law.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say
Marry me and you get a grand house and a good provider.
That’s called a banded pack promotion.
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