Monday, August 29, 2011

Curious Marketing Definitions

Marketing Definitions
My friend, Vic Floresca, sent me a list of marketing definitions which made an analogy of the marketing process to that of the adventures of a libidinous cocktail party goer looking to score with the pretty lady guests. I was in marketing and I thought that I could contribute a few definitions of my own. I’m pretty sure that the younger marketing guys could add on a few more culled from the present state of marketing, media, sales, promotions and market research. Vic suggested that it should be introduced into the curriculum as  Marketing 101.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her
and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and
pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her
and get her telephone number. The next day you call
and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her
bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say,
"By the way, I'm very rich .Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says, "You are very rich.."
That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her
and say, "I'm rich. Marry me" She gives you a nice hard
slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her
and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces
you to her husband
That's Demand and supply gap.


You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her
and before you say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" she
turns her face towards you ------------ she is your
wife !
That's competition eating into your market share

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say...
I’ll give you this mink coat if you marry me. That’s premium
Promotion.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say...
I’m very rich, marry me. She turns her back on you.
That’s a failed product launch.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say...
My name is Victor Rockefeller marry me.
That’s called brand extension.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say...
I have a brother named Eduardo Rockefeller you will like him.
That’s called variant marketing.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say...
You rebuffed me once, well, I’m now rich and handsome,
marry me. That’s a brand restage.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say...
May I visit you tomorrow at your house? That’s called Avon
marketing.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say...
Would you like to go on a one month cruise with me at the Med?
That’s called a test market.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say...
My brother and I would like to have a date with you. Who
would you prefer? That’s product preference testing.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and whisper in her ear...she slaps you.
That’s called proposition testing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You invite her to your
big birthday bash. That’s called events marketing.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You beat a hasty retreat
after recognizing that she is an old flame you ditched.
That’s called a brand pullout.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You sidle up to her and
say I’m tall, dark, handsome and richly endowed.
That’s a transgression of the truth in advertising law.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say
Marry me and you get a grand house and a good provider.
That’s called a banded pack promotion.

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