I have been posting Confucius say haikubes earlier. Recently I finished a series of haiku on "you know you're... if" on American Chinese and Filipino Chinese. There are just too many of them to render into haikubes (a somewhat tedious process) so I decided to post them outside the confines of a cube. Enjoy!
From the American Chinese
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinee if everyone
thinks
You break bricks with fist
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinee if you eat
shrimps
Heads and whiskers all
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinee if red packets
Delight more than toys
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinee if use chopsticks
Eating spaghetti
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinee if backscratcher
Is century old
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinee if house smell of
Incense and mothballs
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinee if Mom insists you
Marry homeland boy
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinee if sweet sour pork
Both lunch and dessert
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinee if century eggs
Are not grandpa’s balls
From the
Filipino Chinese
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy if you can’t speak
Chinese at all
Old Confucius say
You are Chinoy if La Salle
Is Alma Mater
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy if grandparents
Slung siopao baskets
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy if you slurp soup
With unabashed joy
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy if hardware store
Underneath your house
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy if grandma’s shoes
Were baby booties
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy if grandpa has wife
In Fujian village
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy if you visit girl
At height of noontime
Old Confucius say
You’ re Chinoy if regard girl
As useless burden
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy if have joss sticks
Burn on forebear’s pics
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy if tear down house
If feng shui not right
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy if it’s bad fate
Have daughter than son
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy born with great luck
As oldest grandson
Old Confucius say
You’re Chinoy if you lose shirt
On pre-wedding gifts