Sunday, November 11, 2007

The General’s Wife (fiction)


(Second sequel to The Escrayola Sculptor’s Daughter)

Dolores dela Cruz was busy preparing the hall beside the rectory of the Immaculate Conception, the parish church of the Arranque II Subdivision. The place was to be used for a welcome lunch for the Bishop of Bacarra who was dropping by their parish church on the way to the Archbishop’s Palace. He would be visiting Cardinal Santos, a close friend and mentor during his days as the Cardinal’s assistant parish priest in Kabangkalan some years ago. Father Mercado, the parish priest of the Immaculate Conception Church was the prodigy of Bishop of Bacarra. The bishop took notice of the young postulant in San Carlos Seminary where the then Raulito Mercado excelled in his theological studies and exhibited leadership traits. The bishop was hopeful that someday these admirable qualities would propel him to more senior positions in the hierarchy of the clergy. Every time the bishop went down to Manila he would visit Father Mercado’s parish just to see how the young priest was coming along. The bishop was instrumental in having him placed in the Immaculate Conception Church. It was convenient for him that his favorite aunt lived in the nearby subdivision covered by the parish. The bishop’s visit created a stir among the CWL members. It was seldom that a high ranking church official would visit their parish and everybody was enthusiastic to meet and be blessed by the prelate.

Dolores was the head of the CWL and was excited to be assigned by Father Mercado to take care of the preparations for the bishop’s visit. The excitement that Dolores felt was more than just for the prospect of meeting an eminent church leader. She was eager to be in good graces with the bishop. Dolores knew that the bishop was very close to the cardinal and she so wanted to be in the exclusive coterie of the ladies who served at the Archbishop’s Palace. The women who served in this group were from prominent families and from the elite of the military. She would have wanted to be in the group who traveled with the Cardinal on his sojourns to the Vatican, Holy Land visits and other pilgrimages. She was preparing for the time that her husband would be promoted to a five star general and to belong to this select ladies’ corps would be an affirmation of their having come into prominence in the New Society. The bishop could be her opportunity to gain access to this privileged group.She knew that the bishop was a Marian devotee. A day before the visit she had commissioned, more or less coerced with monetary enticement and an implacable attitude, a sculptor to create a bust of the Virgin Mary to give as a gift to the visiting dignitary. She paid a substantial amount of money to Minyong Tengco for the bust and the sculptor did not fail her. The creation was truly a remarkable one, a unique original which did not resemble any of the classic poses of the Virgin Mary in traditional sculptural art. The bust which Dolores insisted on after seeing it in sculptor’s shelves was a sculpture of the artist’s daughter, Clara. It only needed touches of color to be transformed into a bust of the Virgin Mary. She was certain that by ingratiating herself with the bishop he would not refuse a little favor of endorsing her to the cardinal to join the Archbishop’s Palace ladies circle. She was that kind of a woman, she would go to lengths just so she could get what she wanted. Even as a school girl Dolores was a determined person and usually prevailed over all odds and discouragements.

At sometime in the past…
***Cadet Domingo dela Cruz didn’t stand a chance. They met when Dolores was home for the summer on her fourth year as a student at the Maryknoll College pursuing a Bachelors degree in Psychology. When he was introduced to her she liked what she saw and what ensued was as inevitable and unstoppable as an avalanche from Mt. Santo Tomas. Before she married the now three star General Domingo de la Cruz, Dolores Tal-eg was the daughter of Congressman Emilio Tal-eg, a prominent Ifugao. She had good looks which she took from her mother who was a lowlander Chinese mestiza from La Union. She was a little heavy of lower extremities and had slightly thick lips as is typical of the mountain maidens. What stood out was her flawless complexion. She had fair skin which brought out her rosy cheeks to advantage and unlike most highland maidens she was of above average height, these were physical characteristics that her mother had which made up for the unflattering aspects of the Igorot physique. Her father was the son of an Igorot chieftain who was educated by the American missionaries. He went to UP Los Banos to take up a course in agriculture which he put to good use in the ancestral lands of the mountain tribes owned by her father by virtue of his being the son of the chieftain. He later turned politician at the instigation of a fraternity brother and friend from school days who rose up in power to become the President of the republic and later supreme and unopposed head of sixty million Filipinos. They were introduced by a cousin of Dolores who was at the Philippine Military Academy and a classmate of Omeng de la Cruz. After meeting Dolores, that summer Omeng decided to stay in Baguio rather than go home to Tacloban for the school break. There is something with the military boys which make them treat with urgency their matrimonial intentions. It must be an attitude that gets developed by a high risk profession or perhaps being cooped up in an all male institution for years make them overly exuberant and enthusiastic to put their manhood to practice upon entry into the less disciplined life outside the hallowed halls of the academy. In a whirlwind fashion Omeng won her heart and by the end of that summer they got married. Things happened without much effort from Omeng. Dolores had designed it in such a way that Omeng would seem to have staged it all. It is very much like the adage “ a man goes after a woman until she catches him”. Dolores went down to Manila to finish her studies which only had a semester to go and Omeng completed his engineering degree at the academy on the same year.***

“Hoy! Mrs. Cantida, can you please tell the other ladies to come to the hall. We expect the bishop anytime now.” In her growing excitement Dolores called Caring in her formal name. Caring was her “kumare” and best friend in the neighborhood whom she would always address fondly by her nickname or by some other terms of endearment. Earlier she had a pedestal from her house brought in to the rectory so that she could display the bust of the Virgin Mary prominently and from a vantage point. She planned on putting some theatrics into the unveiling of her gift to impress the bishop but thought that it might be over done. She had it wrapped in a satiny gold cloth. It had golden tassels which when pulled would drop the covering cloth to slide sinuously on to the base of the pedestal. Not quite dramatic but solemn and appropriate for the occasion.

She was flitting from dining table to the pedestal then to the entrance to peek at the reception area. She moved in this triangular blocking scheme for almost thirty minutes. The dining table was covered in white table cloth and she checked if the nameplates were in their right places, seeing to it that her place beside the bishop has been reserved for her, at the same time she would lean over where the cook was chopping the lechon to make sure that the lechon pieces were uniformedly cut into small bite size squares and shooing away a lone fly that was teasingly alighting from the lengua to the karekare to the bagoong over and over. She would then go to the head table and check again the line of sight from the bishop’s seat to the pedestal to ensure that nothing blocked the view. As if satisfied with her inspections she would hurriedly go the door to see what was happening at the entrance were most of the CWL ladies were jostling each other for better positions. As if in a rut, she must have done this sequence of movements for about five times before she plopped carelessly into one of the chairs causing the white cover to slip revealing the dirty and cracked plastic chair underneath. She was visibly peeved by the way the other ladies were behaving. They were all clustered at the entrance speculating where the bishop would pass so that they will be in the frontline to greet him upon arrival. The day before they went into a mini rehearsal and agreed on were each one’s position should be in the reception line.“My goodness, how easily they slide back to their crude rural ways. This is shameful” she muttered in exasperation. By herself, it would be impossible to pull all these ladies to the agreed reception line.

“Caring! Caring! Mrs. Cantida! Where is Father Mercado? We need him to restore order to that mob at the entrance.” She just sat there despairing. It was useless for her to go to the ladies’ throng and herd them by the hall to make the greetings and the introductions in a civilized fashion.“He is here! He’s here!, He has arrived!” Dolores could hear the voices coming from the entrance and the sounds were pushing out of a droning noise growing to a resonant crescendo.Auring Rosales, who was the aunt of Father Mercado had the bishop by the arm as she guided him through the jostling rows of overly dressed and overly perfumed females who were pressing forward to get a chance to kiss the bishop’s ring. Adroitly, Auring Rosales steered the bishop to the first door leading to the hall. This was to the consternation of the ladies who were waiting for the bishop to pass in front of them by the second and third doors to the hall. As this happened the ladies started moving in to the hall and were in a rush to get to the choice seats in the dining table set up. Auring Rosales who held the bishop captive arm in arm led him to the main table and sat down beside him disregarding the nameplates. The other seats in proximity to the bishop’s were hastily filled up.Dolores muttered a harsh sounding phrase which fortunately was in Ifugao. It could very well have been a not so nice invective addressed to the CWL ladies who turned into an unruly gaggle of fishwives. She was too infuriated and too tired to do any further protests. She did not move from where she sat and just watched the bedlam settle down. Father Mercado soon followed and the lady seated beside the bishop, not Auring, gave up her seat for the parish priest.

Lunch was served immediately. Father Mercado said that the bishop cannot stay very long because of an appointment in the Archbishop’s Palace to see Cardinal Santos. Almost at the end of the lunch Father Mercado stood up and went to where Dolores was seated and invited her to crossover to where the bishop was seated. She was forlorn and dejected from what has earlier transpired and the good priest must have read it in her eyes. Dolores perked up with the suggestion to go over to the bishop and with renewed spirit stood up, smoothened the front of her dress and primped up her forelocks. “Bishop, this is Mrs. Dolores dela Cruz, the head of our local CWL chapter.”“Oh yes, Mrs. Dela Cruz, Mrs. Rosales here was telling me how very helpful you were in assisting her do all the preparations for this lunch” said the bishop. “What a thick faced bitch!” she thought and then cast a sidelong sharp glance towards Auring Rosales who, sensing a wrathful welling up, quickly excused herself and moved out of the table. Dolores was careful not to reveal her displeasure to what the bishop just said and to maintain her poise she reached out for the bishop’s ringed hand in the expected gesture of kissing the ring. “We have been preparing for this occasion for a week now. I hope his holiness was pleased with our little get together here.” The bishop was being distracted by the ladies who were still inching in towards him and could not respond to what Dolores said. Sensing that she may lose the attention of the bishop she quickly muttered. “I have brought you a gift father. I know that you are a Marian devotee so I commissioned this very good sculptor in our area to do an original sculpture of the Virgin Mary.” The bishop didn’t seem to understand what she said with the crowding and chatter of the ladies who have now encircled the bishop and herself. Almost frantic now, she was vigorously signaling her friend Caring Cantida to unveil the bust which was at the corner of the hall. Caring was quick to respond and pulled the tassel to reveal the bust. The expected drama of the revelation was lost in the frenzy and the bust of the Virgin Mary was now bared but with no one taking notice.She again said almost half shouting, “Father, that bust of the Virgin Mary, atop the pedestal in the corner is my gift to you. You can take it with you father.”“Thank you, thank you,” he said. Dolores wasn’t sure the thanks were addressed to her or to the milling ladies around them. “I really have to rush. I am running late for my appointment with the cardinal. I will try to catch up with all of you some other time. You are all very kind, Salamat, maraming salamat.” As he said this he was quickly whisked away from the crowd by Father Mercado and a burly man who presumably was the bishop’s driver and bodyguard. Soon after the bishop’s departure the ladies started to leave and in less than ten minutes Dolores found herself alone in the dining hall except for the waiters of the catering service who were beginning clean up the tables. Two rectory staffers went in and supervised the putting together of the leftovers into small plastic bags. She looked at the bust of the Virgin Mary and wondered why the bishop did not even bother taking a second look. Maybe the bishop was in a real hurry and would come back for the bust later, maybe from the Archbishop’s Palace he would pass for it before going back to Bacarra.

Days, weeks, months passed and the bust of the Virgin Mary was still there. Every time she was in the church she would take a peek at the rectory hoping to find the pedestal empty. It would always be there as if mocking her and the feeling of frustration and disappointment would get etched deeper each time she saw the bust. It singed away at her faith like etching acid on copper sheets until it turned brittle and broke. Finally she decided to take it out of the rectory and bring the bust of the Virgin Mary home. She did not even bother to tell Father Mercado about it. The priest was surprised at the absence of the bust at the hall. It also signaled the infrequency of Dolores’ presence in church and at the CWL meetings. Because of her continued absence in CWL meetings she was replaced by Auring Rosales who was designated as officer in charge until such time Dolores could come back from her hiatus.

She was not to come back.

Her new found preoccupation was joining Imelda’s Blue Ladies. The Blue Ladies were engaged in numerous projects all of which were transformed into media events by the obsequious press and the many photo ops socials that the Imelda the Ineffable organized. Her new found milieu was over flowing with raucous fun and heady excitement. Majority of the members of this exclusive group was from the wives of the generals and the wives of crony businessmen of Marcos. The wives of the generals during the Marcos regime enjoyed power and privilege that other ladies’ circles in past administrations never experienced. There were so many civic events started by the Fabulous Imelda and the generals’ wives were always tapped to help her in these activities. In addition to the socials there were the various artistic to-dos. Inauguration of art exhibits, Bolshoi Ballet at the CCP, and of course the mahjong sessions where they gambled away hundreds of thousands of pesos and the occasional parties with macho dancers that some of the naughty wives organized. Such was the routine that the wives of the powerful were living. It somehow compensated for the seeming abandonment of the familial abode that their husbands have committed in the service of the regime. The womanizing of the generals were de rigueur and nonchalantly talked about among the wives and it seemed that all the luxuries, the opulence, the decadent lifestyles were welcomed anesthetics to numb the hurt that they felt for all the inconstancies and the infidelities of their callous husbands. The supreme leader himself had a penchant for pretty ladies and he sort of encouraged this among his generals as some macho badge of belongingness in to their exclusive fraternal gang. Because of the absolute power that the military had over the citizenry quite a few of the generals had turned into ruthless ogres and abused their powers with the same rapacity that they abused women and girls of all ages that caught their fancy. Who was to complain? These people were enemies of the state. These were rebels waiting for the opportunity to wreak havoc on the establishment. The regime was just protecting its existence.

It was not what one would expect of Omeng dela Cruz. As a cadet he was truly a soldier’s soldier. All through his schooling he took to heart the noble obligations inculcated by the academy on all their soldier aspirants. Honor and service to country...words to live by and die for. No sooner than he experienced his first major promotion, the idealism that he brought with him into the service was cast aside. It was an undeserved promotion brought about by his being a province mate of the First Lady. He allowed himself to benefit from this dishonorable act, a first among many to follow which he did not have the moral fortitude to refuse.

At sometime in the past…
***General Domingo de la Cruz was from Tacloban, Leyte. He enjoyed the patronage of her prominent province mate, Imelda the Magnificent, who handpicked him from the Presidential Security Guards to be her personal bodyguard at the start of the Marcos regime. He was not quite the baron of his graduating batch in the PMA of class ’60. He was at the bottom ten but not the “goat” of the class. His loyalty to the Beautiful One was rewarded by a promotion to a three star general position and as commander of the 4th army division stationed in Sta. Rosa, Laguna. Omeng is the military stereotype. He was of average height, broad shouldered, dark skinned and with eyes that lacked focus and gave the impression of shifting from one scene to another, as if holding everything in sight suspect. You could not call him handsome but he definitely had an animal allure, an over brimming macho eminence. The de la Cruz couple was twice blessed by the dual connections with the conjugal dictatorship as the Ferdie-Imelda tandem was called. Dolores’ father was a loyalist and a close Marcos ally, while Omeng enjoyed the trust of the First Lady, her province mate.***

About two years had passed since the fateful event of the bishop’s lunch. More than a year ago she had taken home the bust of the Virgin Mary. She had placed it in the altar area of the house together with the crucifixes, the Santo Ninos, the holy water bottles from Lourdes and the vial containing the rose petals form the miraculous Lady of Lipa. What used to be the most cared for place in the house has now gone into neglect. The icons were in need of dusting, the gold leaf on the image bases were beginning to crack into flaky pieces and the gossamer webs of the tiny house mites were laying claim to the hallowed space.The image of the Virgin Mary still bothered her. Though the snub she received from the visiting prelate was more than two years ago the hurt seemed to be as fresh as ever. All the disappointments and the disenchantment were renewed each time she sees the bust. It was unthinkable for anyone, even she, whose faith had already half gone could bear to throw away unceremoniously a sacred icon without the dread of divine retribution. Dolores was now used to being alone. Omeng was always in his post in Sta. Rosa Laguna. Despite nearness of his base camp Omeng preferred to stay there than be home. She went to parties alone, went to do civic work alone and went to the usual mahjong sessions alone with just the driver to take her around. They have been married for more than fifteen years. And in most of these years they had a blissful relationship despite their being childless. All these changed with the sudden upturn of Omeng’s career. He had a taste of power and he easily succumbed to the temptations that all of a sudden became accessible to him…all these without any accountability. She knew that sometime between her dalliance with the irresponsible lifestyle of the gay band of ladies and Omeng’s frequent no show at home, love, affection, respect and all that romantic rot got lost in the shuffle. Sure, she was bitter, but she was not blameless, too…and so she suffered it all with a stiff upper lip.

She reached home after a birthday bash which the wife of the Chief of Staff celebrated at the Coconut Palace. On the way up to the bedroom she passed through the altar area. Feeling a little woozy from the glass of champagne that she drank from the toast that was offered by one of the guests towards the end of the party she was groping for the banisters at the half light that was cast from the corner lamp. In an instant the bust of the Virgin Mary came into view and again all the negative feelings which accompanied this awareness surfaced as unwanted dregs from the past. It must have been the alcohol which heightened her feelings of anger and disgust. This time she thought that bust must go and she searched her mind for ways of disposing the icon in a manner that was not distasteful to her and to the now shadowy God who despite her lessened belief may still exact a fearsome vengeance.

Then an idea struck her. She will return the bust to Minyong Tengco. He was the escrayola sculptor whose livelihood was the making of escrayola pieces of bunny rabbits, piggy banks used as prizes at Ferias and religious icons. She remembered how reluctant Minyong was to part with the bust at the time she bought it from him. She was sure that the bust of the Virgin Mary would find a friendly home in Minyong’s house. Minyong and Clara, his retarded daughter will welcome the return of the bust into their care.

Dolores dela Cruz rattled the bolt of a rusty gate. She wasn’t sure if Minyong Tengco still lived in the same house that she last went to when she commissioned him to do the bust of the Virgin Mary. It took a while before somebody peered from the upper floor window.

A fat fiftyish woman who seemed gasping for breath and looking surly blurted “Who are you looking for? What do you want?”

Dolores recognized the familiar face of Minyong’s landlady. She attended mass in the parish church on Sundays.“Aling Epang, I’m Mrs. Dela Cruz from the church.”

She remembered her well as one who would go to the rectory to enlist for thanksgiving mentions, birthday greetings and prayers for the dead and seeking intercessions for her wishes.

“Does Minyong still stay here?”

“Still here, although he is out for days, sometimes … weeks, chasing Ferias for his bunnies and piggy banks I guess.”

“Do you expect him any time today or maybe within the week?”

“He might come today…it’s rent day you know. He has never been late with the rent. Wait awhile, he usually comes at this time of day”

“How is he…and Clara?”

“He seems fine now. He might have gotten over the tragedy that came to them about a year ago. Ayee! I shudder each time I think about what befell that girl”

“What happened? A sense of dark foreboding gripped her.

“Ayee…ayee! They found her body in a gorge somewhere in Santa Rosa near the rolling hills of the Eastgrove residential area. Raped and dumped like so many others, that was what they said. The body was half eaten by wild animals, presumably stray dogs…rotted and beyond recognition.”

“Have they caught the people behind this monstrous crime?” It flashed in her mind that Omeng can help since this is in his area of command.

“It’s useless…they said that it was the military who did this…you know, they round up suspected underground groups…just anybody…young boys and girls, women…innocent farm folks and most of the time those taken are never heard of again.”

She stood there, thoughtless for a while. Even if she hardly knew Clara she somehow had a tinge of caring and her instinct to help which was earlier stirred was now lost in the flurry of sordid images and speculations. She has heard of the military abuses before but they seemed to be in faraway places, in Mindanao…in Nueva Viscaya…but Santa Rosa? There were talks about Omeng that circulated among the military wives relayed in whispers. She made nothing out of this before as intrigues were prevalent within their circle. Then she thought, no, it couldn’t be. He is not that way. God forbid. Her face reddened as she felt a bloodrush on her cheeks and temple. She was unnerved by this revelation but quickly gathered her composure although she felt that Aling Epang might have noticed her abrupt silence.

“So, what now? What did Minyong do afterwards?”

“I don’t know, but here he comes now. Let him tell you the lurid details. I can’t talk about it anymore” she quickly went upstairs after having said this. Dolores was startled to see Minyong all of a sudden as he was coming from behind.

“Mrs. dela Cruz what brings you here?”

“It’s about the bust of the Virgin Mary that you made for me about two years ago.”

“So, what about it?”

“Ah…no, but first let me express my regrets to what happened to Clara” Dolores said as if in apology for a dread and a guilt that was needless as yet..

“Well that’s past. Nothing more I can do about it.”

“Have the authorities gone after the perpetrators of this ghastly deed? Have they caught up with them?” she was speaking in a guttural fashion and with a tremulous voice.

“No…nothing.”

“What have you done about it?” again with the same nervous tone she asked.

“What can I do? Would you know what to do?”

She sensed that Minyong’s terse replies were telling her to lay off the subject. Being sensitive to such social impasses Dolores quickly shifted to the topic of the statue of the Virgin Mary.

“I brought with me the bust that you did for me two years ago, the one that I was going to gift a visiting bishop with.”

“It’s still with you up to this time?”

“Well, he didn’t want it. I know that it was rather rude of him to have rejected the gift but that is how it was.”

“Is there anything wrong with it?”

“No…no…I don’t think so…I don’t know. I thought it was perfect but I suppose the bishop didn’t think so.”

“Well then, why bring it here?”“I wanted you and Clara to have it…seems too late for her though, but you might want it, more so now. It did look a lot like her and you know…” she was muttering seemingly mindful that she did not even have the right to suggest such things.

“Just leave it there by the door. Does guilt wash off easily?”, and as he said this he went up the stairs leading to the landing of the second floor.

“Aling Epang, the rent money is here”. The door quickly opened and he went inside leaving Dolores all alone by the rusty gate. Dolores was not given the chance to reply to what seemed to her was an accusatory question.

In a few seconds she called to her driver, James, to bring the statue and told him leave it by the door on the ground floor. Pfc. James Dag-ang was her father’s personal bodyguard who was on loan to her when threats to dela Cruz’s became more frequent. Congressman Tal-eg had entrusted James with the security of her daughter. She got into the car and with a strong tap on James’ shoulders told him to get her home as fast as possible.

Her mind was racing now. Could it be true? How dare he? When did he turn into such an unfeeling moster? Poor Clara, poor Minyong. How many times…when…? I do not know that side of him…no…no, God forbid. The questions and the sordid images kept on circling in her mind like a looped video tape recording. Her head was in a spin, near bursting and she rifled her handbag to get to her high blood pressure pills and her big bottle of valium and popped some to head off an imminent nervous breakdown. She got home in an almost catatonic state. She took more than her usual dose and was now negotiating giddily the flag stones on the walk going toward her door on pure reflex and instinct.

Back at the apartment Minyong peered down to the ground floor to see if Mrs.dela Cruz was still there while Epang was counting her money.

“All here”, she said. “Not that I wish to meddle in your affairs but why should Mrs. Dela Cruz be interested and even care about you and Clara? She is so uppity you know. What is she to you anyway?”

He looked at Aling Epang with disbelief and then into subtle disgust. With a slight shake of his head he turned his back and with a cursory bid of leave taking went downstairs leaving Aling Epang nonplussed in her chair.

The bust of the Virgin Mary was left leaning on the door to his place. With customary respect he picked up the icon and cradled it in his left arm and turned the doorknob. His eyeglasses misted from the steam of a suffused tear. Aware now of the privacy of his room he allowed the tear to drop. He closed the door noiselessly, mindful of not showing any emotive reaction to what just transpired. He was always careful about giving hints of his feelings or any telltale sign that would easily reveal his opinions and attitudes towards anything in general. This was a studied stance which he acquired and developed ever since he enlisted in the revolutionary forces of the underground. The traits of being innocuous and seemingly invisible were necessary in the clandestine trade he was now engaged in.

After several months of searching for her daughter all he accomplished was the accumulation of unverifiable facts linking the military to her disappearance. He thought that even if he was to get undeniable proof of the military’s involvement in this heinous crime there was nothing he could do to bring these people to justice. In his usual self Minyong is a peaceful man and was not capable of instant reactions to the vagaries of life whether willfully caused or just plain tough luck.

But he would not be passive.

Several years ago when his wife Maia left him for another man he was disconsolate for many weeks. While there were no open confrontations and scandalous recriminations he had the satisfaction of having the side show barker paramour of his wife fired from his job. The owner of the “carrera ng daga” stall where this guy worked was a long time buyer of his bunny rabbits and piggy banks. He commiserated with Minyong’s bad fortune and did what he had to do to help assuage the hurt of his friend and long time supplier. The last time he heard something about Maia she was a side show attraction in a Feria caravan after being abandoned by her jobless lover. That was an acceptable closure for Minyong.

In the case of Clara’s abuse and slaying he found a way of venting his anger and frustration against the military by joining the underground movement which at that time was gaining adherents as the abuses of the regime mounted. The underground found in him a useful field operative. To the military, he had a justifiable mobility not only in the urban areas but also in the provinces as he followed his clientele setting up Ferias in small cities and towns. His cute bunny rabbits and piggy banks abetted his crimes against the government by acting as couriers of messages and other materials that could be lodged in the hollow of his cheerful escrayola figurines. These were relayed to other operatives who would feign receiving them as prizes in the Feria game booths sympathetic to the underground cause.

The nerve of that woman to come here, he thought. Doesn’t she know that the lecherous monster of Santa Rosa is no other than her husband? The bust of the Virgin Mary was on his table. He contemplated the icon and what emerged and imposed itself in his consciousness was the innocent face of Clara pleading for a more definitive retribution than what he has already started. The rough wooden table with caked dirt and splotches of old paint on the surface seemed a heretical altar for someone so dearly beloved. In his mind he promised Clara a more virulent act of vengeance.

Then an idea struck him. It was so simple and so apparent that he was surprised at himself for not thinking of it sooner. Dolores dela Cruz coming to his house was heaven sent. He thought of her as someone she could manipulate to help him get Clara’s revenge. That night he could not get to sleep. Only the barking of Aling Epangs’s guard dog and the distant crowing of a rooster made him realize that he hadn’t slept a wink. His mind was working frenetically. There were so many ways he could take advantage of Dolores.

Dolores hobbled laboriously to stay on her feet while negotiating the flag stone lined path. She had a momentary clarity of mind when she espied the shiny red MG roadster of Omeng parked outside their garage. The last time he was home was more than a week ago he stayed for two days then went back to his camp. She didn’t even see him leave. Though heavily sedated she was startled to see the parked two-seater sports-car gleaming in the blinding sunlight and it caused her to miss a flagstone. Her semi high heeled shoes stepped on the edge of the granite twisting her left ankle and throwing her to the ground. Omeng was watching her from the second floor window and when he saw her fell he slowly went down to the front door and out to the porch. She had passed out and sprawled spread eagle on the grassy shoulder of the flagstone path. Omeng carried her to the living room sofa and tried to revive her by firm slaps on her cheeks and splashing cold water on her face. It was only when he saw her opened tote bag with the pills spilled out at the bottom that he suspected that she might have taken an overdose.

Amidst the spill there was an open plastic vial of Valium and ripped blister bags of Norvas. The spilt valium pills, tubes of cosmetics…rouges, lipsticks, and credit cards half covered the 9 millimeter Beretta that she asked from Omeng after a bomb blast at their gate about two years ago. Seeing this he was more annoyed and disgusted at the situation than being sorry for Dolores’ condition. Summoning his aide and the soldiers who were seated in an escort personnel carrier he ordered them to load the limp body to their vehicle. He instructed them to follow him as he drove towards the San Juan de Dios Hospital.They had to pump her stomach to wash out the offending chemicals from her system. She recovered consciousness towards early evening.

In the hospital room Omeng was seated on a chair beside the bed reading a newspaper. He was not aware that Dolores was already conscious. Dolores did not have any idea of what she would say to this man by her bedside. She feigned unconsciousness to spare her from having to say any thing to him and also to shake off the cobwebs in her head. She knew that some explanation have to be made for her having attempted something like this. Her mind did a double take…do I have to explain? She now had a different regard of the person by her side and for the first time she was wary of him.

It was nearly seven in the evening when two of her lady friends, the wives of General Palaban and General Dilig entered the room. Omeng stood up and greeted them and offered refreshments. They were not aware that Dolores was already awake.

“Dolores hasn’t regained consciousness since this morning. She fell and must have hit her head on the granite flagstone. The doctors said that she will be alright and is expected to wake by this evening.” Omeng was trying to cover all grounds of possible questions from the two ladies.

Luming Dilig said, “Ah, really? According to my driver who talked to Dolores’ driver this afternoon, she was taking medication in her car before…”

“True, true. Dolores as you know has this chronic hypertensive problem but she was not too religious in following the time and dosages of the prescriptions. There were even days she forgets to take it at all,” Omeng was quick to interject. “In the car she felt a splitting headache and her first impulse was to gulp down the necessary medicines. When she got out of the car she slipped on the flagstone walk and hit her head on the ground.”

“But…but…there seems to be no facial nor head scratches… contusions and…” Mrs. Palaban said as he found an opportunity to get into the exchanges edgewise.

“She fell on soft ground,” Omeng curtly cut her. “Maybe you ought to know better than to believe everything your driver picks up…that’s “chismis, you know…not nice.”

Mrs. Dilig felt stung by the straightforwardness and abruptness of Omeng’s words.“Really now, but what about the reports on the abuses that went on in Sta. Rosa, do you think I am not aware of that? I suppose they were chismis, too”, she was sorry for indiscreetness of the outburst. Realizing that reports like these were for the military officers’ eyes only she had to stop immediately.

Omeng could only grit his teeth. Nothing could be gained by a hysterical exchange of words with these bitchy women besides it was true that some sort of an inquiry was going on in Sta. Rosa. He checked himself. Both Mrs. Dilig and Omeng had reasons to end the conversation and what ensued was a long period of embarrassing silence but with a variety of nonverbal statements. Omeng paced the floor looking for the slightest excuse to move from the ante room to the toilet then back again by the bedside of Dolores while the ladies fidgeted, topped up their make-ups, looked at their watches…After sometime the repeated awkward movements became patently ridiculous.

“I think I better be going. My daughter is waiting for me at Divisoria…not safe to leave young girls in places like that nowadays…too many perverts running loose, you know. Anyway Dolores is still asleep…might come back later when she has regained consciousness. Liling, I will go ahead of you…Omeng don’t bother to see me to the door…” hastily beating a retreat towards the door as she said this.

“Wait…wait…I have to be going too. I remember that my appointment with Jun Encarnacion is at eight o’clock. Let’s come down together…o, Omeng, please tell Dolores that we came by,”

Omeng just stood there without saying the usual pleasantries. They were already at the door even before Mrs. Palaban could finish what she was saying. He was tempted to slam the door after them but thought otherwise because with nerves already frayed breaking the silence in the hospital would jar him.

When Dolores decided to end her pretended sleep Omeng was still visibly upset by the visit of the Mrs. Dilag and Mrs. Palaban. Dolores squinted to shake off her vision which was beclouded by having forcedly closed her eyes for hours. She was aware of the abbreviated visit of her friends and heard every incriminating word that transpired in the conversation.

She could live with the philandering of Omeng but this is unconscionable. That Omeng is the ogre of Santa Rosa has been confirmed by the conversation she heard in her feigned sleep. She would have wanted to be angry but instead she became scared. Omeng was the devil incarnate.

Omeng left for the Sta. Rosa camp the following day. He had arranged for two special nurses to be by her for twenty four hours and had deposited enough money with the hospital to take care of the bills upon Dolores’ release. During her convalescence she had time to think. The peace and calm that she felt when the overdose started to take effect beckoned alluringly. Doing the suicide again seemed easy. It was as if one had reached a threshold of the once tabooed act and had now become unflustered by it. But why punish myself, she thought. I am the aggrieved one. The image of her husband gloating at her funeral appalled her. She has to have the last laugh, she has to fight back and win decisively. I am a Tal-eg. Omeng, you cannot do this to me. In her mind she swore to her noble tribal ancestors and the family anitos that no one can trample on a Tal-eg.

Revenge and disenchantment are strong motives. Between Minyong’s intention of using Dolores to get back at the monster who wasted his daughter’s innocent life and Dolores’ desire to redress the many betrayals that Omeng had inflicted on her and his having metamorphosed into a despicable abomination easily converged to become a malevolent and hardened cabal…ah unholy pact.

It did not take long before Dolores and Minyong became intimate. This easily materialized as Dolores skillfully maneuvered it and because Minyong had meant for this to happen from the start. There was comfort in their finding solace and consolation from one another as wretched partners sharing life’s vagaries. Their emotional and physical needs neatly dovetailed and they rushed headlong into this illicit communion without hesitation. The consummation of their love act was satisfying perhaps not so much sensually but because of the perverted pleasure of triumph and fulfillment of getting back at a common deeply hated enemy. Each time she surrendered herself to Minyong she would picture Omeng as a pathetic spectator by the bedside while she put on a show of exaggerated pleasure while mockingly leering at him. For Minyong, his manliness seemed to be restored and reinforced with each forceful thrust during the forbidden act as if each one was a blow struck in anger and in sweet revenge. It must have felt strange for anyone to put ignoble motives to such a basic human want. It was a defilement of a beautiful expression of an honest and natural emotion, but both did not have qualms for the transgressions they have committed.

In time he divulged to Dolores his affiliation to the underground and easily recruited her into the group. With her as an ally Minyong felt that he could be much more effective in pursuing the underground’s cause and more importantly, he can now penetrate the security cordon that protected Omeng dela Cruz. Omeng’s assassination was the ultimate revenge. In Dolores he found an access point, a facility that would help in completing his mission.

Dolores was an asset to the underground effort. She was able to fish for information from the wives of the other generals knowing that they have more than cursory information. Wives of the military, out of jealousy and other rationalized justifications peek into the portfolios of their husbands to find classified and privilege information feeling that knowing these gave them an edge, a semblance of control over their husbands. These could also be used as leverage against them if ever necessary in the future. Dolores, on the few occasions that Omeng was home would ferret out information from casual conversations with him and like the other wives would surreptitiously go over mission orders, order of battle lists, schedule of forays, shipments of armaments and sometimes direct orders from the commander in chief himself. He would never have suspected that Dolores would be interested in such things.

Messages and documents would be smuggled to receiving stations in the towns in the rural areas then relayed on to rebel bases in the mountain fastnesses. The escrayola bunnies and piggy banks were used to hold the clandestine items in their hollows. They were relayed to couriers of the underground as prizes in the game booths in the Ferias. It was difficult for the military to trace the security leakages. The information being fed to the underground was coming from various sources. They could not establish a pattern as to the sourcing, the category of the information and the geographical area of command since the information were picked up from the wives of generals in different branches of the armed forces.

It was the feast of San Juan de Bautista in Batangas. In a Feria set up for the fiesta. Sgt. Pedro Dipasupil was on his first day of furlough and was wandering around the fairgrounds that evening. He was to leave for Manila in the morning for a week’s vacation. It was the eve of the fiesta and the fairgrounds was teeming with boisterous children and revelers who were enjoying the festive ambience created by the spinning lights of the ferris wheel, the caterpillar ride’s serpentine glow and the occasional illumination of fireworks in skybursts. Passing through the game galleries he was naturally attracted to the shooting gallery being a bemedalled marksman in the second infantry division of the Philippine Army.

The gallery was no match against his skills. Lead pigeon after lead pigeon fell. After winning two games he chose a bunny rabbit bank and a piggy bank figurines as prizes. They were good “pasalubongs” for his two young daughters when he gets home in the morrow. As fate would have it, the piggy bank broke spilling the clandestine documents that were to be relayed to the underground. It was a fight between his two daughters that led to the discovery of the cartoon conduit. Both daughters wanted the piggy bank more than the bunny one and in the tussle that ensued piggy ended up as hundreds of escrayola shards on the cement floor. Sgt. Pedro Dipasupil, like the loyal soldier of the regime that he was broke his furlough and took the earliest bus to Batangas to report the incident to his superiors.

In time the escrayola pieces was traced to Minyong but not before the maiming of about half a dozen men who were ruthlessly tortured to extract the information. Minyong was grilled and tortured then grilled, tortured all over again until he finally broke and confessed to his involvement in the underground movement. It must have been an agonizing ordeal that he had undergone to have him reveal his indiscretion with Dolores dela Cruz and the role that Dolores played in the espionage network. The officer who grilled Minyong left him looking like a crumpled foil and hardly breathing. He did not order him executed thinking that his commander might have further use for the almost lifeless carcass of Minyong not so much for extracting more information, for he has done an efficient job of that, but more for macho settling of scores from his superior whose manhood had been mocked.Minyong was sent to the camp clinic where he was to be resuscitated.

When Dolores came home that evening she saw the bright red MG roadster parked outside the house. Usually Omeng would park inside the yard just in front of the garage but it seemed that he was not going to stay long and was in a hurry to go somewhere else. Dolores felt something was afoot. She told James not to go home yet since she might need him later. Her experience in the underground developed her awareness of irregularities and odd situations, quick to read meanings to them and be suspicions almost to the point of paranoia. Instinctively she slid her hand on the side of her tote bag feeling out the bulge of her trusty Beretta.

“Omeng. I didn’t expect you to be home today.”
“Where you expecting somebody else?” and with that he let loose a strong box on her ears which sent her reeling on the floor. She could hardly hear what Omeng was ranting about as the pain in her inner ear was a stabbing one.

“Son of a….! How dare you humiliate me…you a rebel and a whore to that pathetic sculptor?...okay so you want to be with that miserable beggar. When I’m finished with you I will send your body to the camp so that you can have a final tryst with whatever is left of him.”

He kicked her in the mouth and got down to grab her by the collar of her dress and in a paroxysm of rage slapped her with closed fist repeatedly. The big beastly hands of Omeng struck in senseless abandon and each clobber made her head swing to one side then to the other. Blood was oozing out of her cracked lips and she felt that her consciousness will soon abandon her with the incessant buffeting of those powerful fists on her face. She reached for her gun inside her tote bag and fired at the dark frantic blur on top of her. It was a palpable hit. She couldn’t miss at such a close range. The huge mass of flesh straightened up as if to deliver another blow when she fired two successive shots one hitting the neck and the other the right eye and he was once again on top of her but now almost inert except for the quivering arms and legs in a death spasm. She pushed the heavy bulk that pinned her on the floor and rushed out to the door then ran to her car.

“What happened ma’am? You are bloodied all over…what happened?”

“We were ambushed inside the house by assassins. General dela Cruz has been shot. Drive…drive quickly!”

“Where to, ma’am?”

“To the camp…quickly!”

Inside the hurtling car her mind was galloping and flitting from one scenario to another about the possible situations Minyong would be in. All she knows is that that both she and Minyong have been found out and from what Omeng said Minyong must have been tortured to extract a confession but still alive. Where would they keep him? Would the officers in the camp be already on the alert? She had a hunch that Omeng would have kept this a secret as yet. She knew that he would be hesitant to readily reveal to others the fact that it was his wife who was the security leak and even more shameful was the emasculating fact that he was his being cuckolded.

She tried to clean up her bloodied dress with “wipes” wet towels that she always had in her car. The car floor was strewn with crimson streaks. The discarded “wipes” were all over the floor. Flashes of Omeng’s face with a deathly expression intruded her mind. She couldn’t believe the bizarre and surrealistic situation she was in. She shrugged off the thought and went back to thinking of what she would do once they hit camp. She eased into a jacket which was part of her survival reserves inside her car.She was relieved when they passed thru the main gate. The guard on duty even greeted her a good evening and with the obligatory hand salute. Whew! she thought…okay so far. She was correct in thinking that Minyong would have been brought to the camp clinic. The soldier who brought Minyong to the clinic was not aware of Dolores involvement.

Torture victims being brought to the clinic was a frequent occurrence and Minyong was no different from the others. Because of their conditions after the intense grilling they were considered low security risk prisoners who were not capable of escaping from their sick beds for invariably the prisoners were too battered that even crawling was something they could not manage.

Inside the clinic Dolores asked for the nurse on duty and inquired if there was an Herminio Tengco being treated in the clinic.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Dela Cruz but most of those brought in are not registered and they would only have numbers…no names.” The nurse on duty recognized that this was the camp boss’ wife and began to be solicitous. “If only you could recognize the person you are looking for I can accompany you inside. Why you look like you need treatment yourself.”

Ignoring the last remark Dolores said without hesitation “Let’s go.”

Inside a dimly lit ward a row of cots were arranged as in herring bone pattern row on row. The smell of fresh blood and antiseptic reeked in the air. Most of the men on the cots were immobile and with faces partly hidden by bandages and some under bed sheets. Minyong was in the last row, presumably the latest interned patient as he was at the top row, at the head of the stacked patients as it were.Dolores told the nurse that she was bringing the patient with her and asked her to get some orderlies to help in carrying him out of the clinic.

“But ma’am, we couldn’t release anybody without the approval of the Officer In Charge. Can you just wait a few minutes. He just went to the canteen for dinner.”

“No, girl. Do it now! Not you nor your OIC not even I can keep the general waiting. That is precisely the reason why he wanted me to personally get Mr. Tengco so that there will be no delay. Now get those orderlies here on the double!”

The brilliant highland midday sun stretched its kind arms on the vast carpet of green strawberry shrubs in a secluded plateau nestled somewhere in between the high walls of the mountain ranges in Kalinga Apayao. Dolores dela Cruz felt warm in a knitted vest as she scanned the green strawberry fields accented by the sun brightened redness of the ripened berries.She was standing by the porch of a small store which also served as a trading station for the farm produce of vegetables, strawberries and native Ifugao handicrafts. It had been almost four years since they settled in this isolated barrio. They have been fugitives from the regime and with the protection from her father and the kindness of her kinfolks were able to live without fear from the authorities in all those years.

In the distance she could see a stooped man balancing a couple of water buckets at the ends of a bamboo shaft on his shoulder. With a dipper in hand he was spraying water on the rows of strawberry shrubs.

“Minyong! Minyong!, stop that now and come up for lunch".

Minyong Tengco survived the torture and the brutal beating that the military had wrought. But what was left of him was a ghastly looking old man who walked with a limp and had a pronounced stoop, a badly scarred face but alive, nonetheless.He came up the stone steps of the porch of the trading station. Dolores helped him unload the water buckets. The buckets were communal property and so she placed them by a nearby wall.

As they walked homeward they talked about what they heard from the underground’s grapevine. The regime was near collapse as there were talks about internal strife within the ranks of the military, the civilian officials of the dictatorship were defecting to the opposition and the church hierarchy was becoming more militant in their protests. Dolores was visibly excited with all these developments.

“Oh Minyong, wouldn’t it be nice to be back in Manila and relive life that we once knew? Oh to be able to dance again, make chika with my amigas, watch television or see a movie, to go to all those restaurants again and…oh to play mahjong again”, she spouted the words longingly. Minyong didn’t seem to hear Dolores’s prattle and ignored her unabashed show of eagerness.

“I don’t recall having done all that, all I want to know is what’s for lunch”.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Lines to Remember 20 (Unnatural Consequences)

















"I returned and saw under the sun,
that the race is not to the swift,
nor the battle to the strong,
neither yet bread to the wise,
nor yet riches to the men of understanding,
nor yet favor to men of skill,
but time and chance happeneth to them all."
Ecclesiastes

We do observe instances where superior individual capacity is not the measure of failures and successes. Most of us would have experienced the joy of success not through merit but by luck and conversely we agonize over what seemed to be undeserved failures.

These occurrences seem to be injustices that do not bear out the moral consequences; that virtue prevails over vice, that wisdom triumphs over absurdity, the learned succeeds against the ignorant and preparedness wins against apathy.

While we are witnesses to these non sequiturs happening in amazing regularity, the virtuous and the upright among us should not be dismayed. The flukes or outliers (in statistical terms) are real phenomena but should be regarded only as such, a freakish happening an accident contrary to the nature of things. The reason they seem so prevalent is because their unnaturalness make them sensational and spectacular, thus, memorable. Some amount of the unpredictable element must be taken into account but not considerably. In the normality of things their probability of happening is small.

I imagine that if we were to tabulate and compare all the instances in the world of the prevalence of good over bad we can conclude that good will win at a 99.9% confidence level; but there is still that .1 % chance that it will not be true.

I’ll take my chances with the good.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Lines to Remember 18 (The Simple Life)


"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived"Henry David Thoreau from Walden (1854)

We, in our ways, attempt to decipher the meaning of life, not as a general philosophical truth, but as something that is personal and deeply rooted in our own spirituality. Each man’s Holy Grail is unique to himself. It is not like a herd activity that draws conviction through affirmation by others.

Thoreau found it in Walden Pond where he chatted with the woodchucks, greeted the jays good day, skimmed flat stones in the tremulous surface of the algae greened water. How fortunate for him to have chosen such a milieu for his quest of the meaning of life. How readily nature answered what seemed, at first, to be esoteric questions, how nature even supplied the questions with answers so plainly apparent each time he rose from bed at winter’s dawn.

He described the watery retreat as the one that “…had obtained a patent of heaven to be the only Walden Pond in the world and distiller of celestial dews.” On its banks bulrushes grew amidst white pebbles and on a further stretch white lilies marked the water’s edge. On days when the pond waters are clear one could espy breams, perches, pickerels and trout of variegated hues along with tortoise, turtles and other reptilian creatures timorously crawling on the ground. They shared the pond’s bounty together with the shimmering haze of insects and the chattering congregation of birds.

In the sweet solitude and comforting serenity of the pond Thoreau pondered the bare essentials of living and had been taught through joyful discoveries and figuring them out by the irrefutable but pleasant logic of nature.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Lines to Remember 16 (On Excellence)


“If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon or make a better mousetrap than his neighbor, though he builds his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson


The better mousetrap is the key to human conquest

It is the natural obsolescence plan, the engine of positive change which placates a fundamental human unrest.

Do better. Excellence will be sought out and inevitably found.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Lines to Remember 15 (Discontent)


“Where does discontent start? You are warm enough, but you shiver. You are fed, yet hunger gnaws you. You have been loved, but your yearning wanders in new fields. And to prod all these there’s time, the Bastard Time.”
John Steinbeck

We are sheltered, clothed, fed, are able in our jobs and have love from those immediately around us. Do we ask for more? Of course we do. Do we do something to make it better? No we don’t.

What most us have is just a modicum of the good life but we never strived to do better than what we already have. We just contemplate on how nice things would be if only…but do not stand up from our comfortable perches to improve our lot.

When we ruminate we become covetous of what other people have, we become envious of the achievements of those around us and begin to trouble the heavens with our gratuitous protestations.

All because we had time to think about our situation we start to recognize how nondescript and lackluster it is. We begin to think that we are not deserving of this and that someone up there owes us.

Idle time is the infernal lathe of the devil.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Lines to Remember 14 (Alas, Poor Juan)



“I would not call myself a man of piety, for I have my own share of human limitations and moral imperfections.”(Pres. Joseph Estrada at the 20th National Prayer Breakfast)

Recently, Joseph Ejercito Estrada, ex President of the Republic has been rendered a guilty verdict on the plunder charges leveled at him by the Sandigan Bayan. The same especially created judicial body acquitted him from perjury charges.

Erap, as he is more popularly known, was truly an honest man in this respect. He did not carry on a pretense of being lily white and beyond reproach even if his position of being head of state would have allowed a little sleight-of-image. He had the best image massagers in the country and expert PR advisers from the US who could have done a terrific make over job.

I know that I am being cynical when I pose the question”…who is the lesser evil, the one who takes on a careless and cavalier attitude about one’s true nature or the one who effectively hides through denials, disinformation and carefully crafted press kits?”

Sad to say but these are the options that Juan de la Cruz has these days.

As an aside, the quotation ascribed to Erap would probably qualify for the understatement of the year.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Lines to Remember 13 (The Road Less Travelled)


“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
Robert Frost from The Road Not Taken


I would surmise that most people followed the beaten path and led normal and unexciting lives and in so doing managed to eke out a life where responsibilities to family and society were handled creditably. They are no heroes but they make up the mainstream of society and form the majority of which all considerations of a democratic existence hinges on.

There would be quite a few who heeded the wisdom of Robert Frost and dared to trek the unfamiliar and the untried and were rewarded for their audacity and intrepidness. But what about those who followed their individualistic instincts and failed? They would count in the innumerable legions and yet not much is heard about them. The banner of success flutters high above and waves vigorously for all to see, while the tattered rag of failure is interred with other human disappointments in dark secret crypts.

To challenge the unknown, to pioneer in unexplored fields, to go against the tide and to defy convention may reap unimaginable fame and wealth but too often and in so many untold instances, it is more vice than virtue.

Nevertheless, we should laud the brave and the dreamer for above their personal gains, mankind marches onward, nay, leaps forward with their conquests and triumphs.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Lines to Remember 12 (The Devil's Own)


“The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the devil.”
H. L. Mencken


Ambo is an honest working man. He trudges to work everyday and ekes out a daily wage that just about covers all the expenses of the family for the day. Day after day he gathers his tools of trade and puts them in a roughly constructed box made of “palo china” wood salvaged from crates of automotive parts. Together with his tools, a packed lunch hurriedly put together by Lina, his wife, consisting of a half of dried fish; the side with the fish-bones. and a stewed red plump tomato was squeezed into the box. The boiled rice is packed separately in another clear plastic bag. With these in tow he would walk to the jobsite about a kilometer away from his house to earn another day’s wage. God seems to have designed a perfect routine for him that he uncomplainingly lives out for what seems to be an eternity of repetitions of the same livelong day.

His neighbors find him unenviable; instead, they admire the constancy by which he attends to his responsibility as the bread winner for his wife and Aurea, his daughter who just graduated from a med tech course. In her last semester she had to take on a job as a fast food crew to afford an expensive final term in school which included a lot of laboratory subjects and that she had to do an extra load to graduate within the semester. All these effort have paid off for her. She has just started working for a large pharmaceutical company as a med rep.

His neighbors knew that he was resigned to the penurious life he leads. Although he just has enough to get him through the day he remained cheerful and was grateful to whatever measly handouts a stingy Providence gave.
He was looked at as a friendly neighbor, someone who can extend his hand to a person or to the community when needed, however because he was poor, people did not bother him for assistance. In their neighborhood help will most of the time mean a financial dole out or borrowed money from a willing lender neither of which Ambo was capable of doing.

The people in the neighborhood consider him as God’s ward. Someone they can practice their charity on. And they felt good and self contented amongst themselves after having fulfilled such a praiseworthy Christian act. It was good to have a person like that. For as long as he remained wretched and innocuous he was a pitiful child of God needing their magnanimity.

The last few weeks have seen some palpable changes in Ambo’s life. Not big consequential ones but gradual and recognizable transformations. For the first time Ambo went to work wearing a collared shirt as compared to the white t-shirts with the names of hardware stores or other commercial establishments he wore everyday.

Aurea topped the monthly sales revenues of her division and was given a bonus, She bought her father the collared shirt which he wore that morning to work. Her mother was ecstatic upon seeing the nice yellow dress that she got for her and was happy to see the new curtains in the tiny room which served as bedroom and living room. The tattered old curtains hang conspicuously on the window sill in contrast to the bright and colorful newly draped ones. She was too distracted and agog to decide whether to throw them away or recycle them as rags.

For herself Aurea bought a new wardrobe set as any young lady would do upon having come into a minor windfall. She actually needed the new clothes. The pant suit that she wore to her product presentations was almost threadbare and was beginning to discolor and fade due to overuse.

The neighborhood was perplexed with what they were seeing. Ambo the other day in a brand new collared shirt, bright new curtains fluttering unabashedly in the breeze, Lina off to somewhere in a bright yellow dress and Aurea, looking so smart and lively in her colorful clothes. Even their clothesline which used to display the drabbest and the most ragged garments in the neighborhood now had put on a festive look, much like "banderitas" during a fiesta which waved proudly for all to see.

The busybodies and the wags in the tiny community had a field day of conjectures and speculations, the origins of which were dubious and in most part non-existent.

Was Ambo a member of the notorious gang of bank robbers who had a successful heist the other week in a bank two blocks away from their place? Lina must have scored a big one and was not caught in the buy bust operations launched by the narcotics agents last Saturday in the shabu “tiangge” beside the municipal hall. Aurea must have been having affairs with one or some of the prominent surgeons in the hospitals in her rota. How else could she afford all those new and pretty clothes.

The more “informed” of the group commented that they knew all along what Ambo and his family was up to but didn’t have concrete proof to denounce him. It has been more than two weeks now since the buzz started. It hasn’t died down yet and it seems that it will go on indefinitely. Each day a new tasty tidbit would be added to the mounting edifice of evidence and the talk will begin all over again with every rumor being recharged with new energy by the latest bit of scuttlebutt.

Most of them would recall the things that they have done for Ambo and now wished that they shouldn’t have been so gullible and charitable. They have no proof and yet they know it in their guts that Ambo and family have been miscreants all along.

“That Ambo, he is one son of a gun…” they would say.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Lines to Remember 11 (On Giving)


"No man is so poor as to have nothing worth giving. Give what you have. To someone it may be better than you dare to think."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


I am reminded of an O’Henry story where a poor couple gave up something of themselves. Although these were without much monetary value, they were prized personal possessions.

This may not be an accurate retelling but it is faithful to the gist of the tale.

It was the day before Christmas and both of them have not yet bought a gift for each other because after having spent for groceries to have a simple Christmas dinner and a few cents for the sparse yuletide adornments in their small apartment, nothing was left for buying gifts.

The girl had a beautiful mound of hair which she brushed with vanity to encourage a lustrous sheen on the soft curls. Her tresses were her source of pride. The man knew how much she wanted to buy a fanciful hair clasp that would go well with her crowning glory but had been putting off buying it.

The man, on the other hand, had this precious object, which for the paucity of possessions, was his most treasured item. It was a hand watch which his father gave him. It was not the expensive kind but its silver case and the roman numbers on an ivory-like dial face gave it a dignified quality that more than added to the sentimental value it had for him.

How he wished he could get a fob so that the hand watch could be displayed much more to advantage. This was a wish that he was quite open about. Every time he took the hand watch from his pocket he would intone with a sigh this hankering.

And so came Christmas morning…

Both of them were beaming with excitement as they held on to neatly wrapped packages. They stood there, the man with one hand in his robe pocket and the other holding on to a package while the girl looking fresh with her towel turbaned around head proffered her package towards him.

“Open it now…” said the girl. And the man without much hesitation opened the gift package to reveal a shiny silver serpentine chain fob.

“Aaw..,you shouldn’t have…really” said the man with a somewhat feigned expression of joy.

“Your turn sweetheart!” said the man.

She hurriedly tore off the wrapping of the package and saw the beautiful hair clasp peering from the soft paper that enclosed it in the box.

‘Oh…Oh…it’s lovely!” she said as she limply laid the gift box on the table.

After a curious moment of unease…she said “I’m sorry but I have a confession to make. Yesterday morning I went to the hair salon and sold my hair so that I could buy you the fob.”

“And I…”, said the man, …sold my watch to the curio shop by the office to get you the hair clasp that you’ve always wanted.”

For a moment they both stood there, motionless for about a few seconds and then, in an exuberant burst of affection, flew into each others arms and went into a smothering passionate embrace.

Gifts valueless at the time of the giving became the ultimate gifts. Gifts of self which will make their love endure a lifetime and herald better Christmases from then on.

Lines to Remember 10 (The Survivor's Creed)


“Doesn't the fight for survival also justify swindle and theft? In self defence, anything goes.”
Imelda Marcos lifted from Brainy Quote.com

Who knows what happened almost a quarter of a century ago. People then, must have rebelled in defense of basic freedoms, dignity and their lives. The dictator, in turn, must have defended his life capably, and maybe too well that thousands lost their lives and a few thousands more lost their loved ones in this act of self defense.

To stay alive was to stay in power and to stay in power one had to have the resources to hold back the ravenous maws of the military, to pay for cover-ups in local and foreign media, to organize mass feeding and other amelioratory activities for photo ops, to reward the sycophants and the toadies for singing hymns of praise, to compensate the wretched rabble to posture shows of support in demonstrations and rallies, to lull and awe the people with monumental erections and world class celebrations, to pay for the establishment of sham opposition personalities and organizations. A lot of money is needed to do all these for the effective defense of one’s life.

People fought back in self defense and some of them got killed because the dictator might, also, have acted in self defense when he used the might of the military to curtail this threat to his life.

Self defense seems to be an easily transportable legal and moral principle. How convenient and handy for some.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Lines to Remember 9 (Tobacco's Curse)


"For thy sake, tobacco, I would do anything but die."
Charles Lamb from A Farewell to Tobacco-


I am not making any judgment on cigarette smokers. The fact is I was two pack-a-day smoker of more than forty years and it took a good scare to get me out of it.

I know how difficult it is to kick the habit.

I need not repeat the perils of cigarette smoking as the warnings are written all over the packs of cigarettes and in the gaunt and wrinkled faces of those who have been addicted to it for years. The signs are not only visual as they also signal an offensive olfactory emanation which reeks of disease and decay.

Only this summer my daughter who had a pack-a-day habit decided to quit when she found out that she had a run away blood pressure problem which was not known to her until they bought a sphigmometer to monitor the blood pressure of her husband who had a mild blood pressure problem. She thought that the device they bought was not in working order because when she took a reading for herself the levels where atrociously high; enough to just knock her over at that very instant. They went to a doctor who confirmed that hers was a chronic case. There was no delaying it. The decision to quit smoking had to be immediate…“cold turkey”. It was also a propitious decision because their nine year old son had a tenacious cough that would not go away. During their addiction they, unconsciously, turned a blind eye on the insidious effects of this on their son.

A month ago an older brother was rushed to the hospital in a comatose state. He had to endure the puncturing of holes in his body to aid his respiration. He now has emphysema. His daughter said that she would frame the tubes that had caused him so much excruciating pain and hang it by his bedside as a reminder of the price he had to pay for his habit.

Just recently, a close relative, another case-hardened cigarette smoker, quit on her own volition because her grandson was diagnosed to have a bad pulmonary condition which was aggravated by his early smoking habit. On top of the boy’s smoking she felt that her smoking was contributory to her grandson’s condition; an effect of inhaling second hand smoke which was considered worst than direct smoking. She herself was near emphysemic and should have quit for that reason alone.

Soon you have to quit...so, when?

When it threatens your life…
when it threatens the lives of the ones you love...or
when it finally kills you!!!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Lines to Remember 8 (Pretense)


"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be."
-Kurt Vonnegut in "Mother Night"

In our youth we had our heroes; demigods who walked in our midst ever so self assured, strutting with bold gait and looking down at everyone from an upward leveled eye.

He could be the teacher’s delight who seemed to have had a preview of all the questions that were asked in class, the hunk who was the captain ball of the varsity team who would always have a bevy of pretty coeds milling around him, the cool kid who drove around in a roadster with an ever loyal gang astride or he could be the much admired and popular editor of the school newspaper whose creativity and writing style you coveted.

As young men still unsure of our bearing we had these exemplars to choose from and we did in varying degrees tried to emulate them as closely as we could with only our physical and sometimes financial limits holding us back.

In some instances these imitations had positive effects on us. We selected the admirable qualities of our heroes and these, somehow, are sopped up by our personality and, consistently living them out they become really a part of us.

However, in mimicry, disaster is always a present peril. For instance copying the pose, the sartorial preferences, the manner of speech, the lifestyle, and the swagger of the idolized one often result in ridiculous and comical circumstances. Only the right combination of personal qualities makes for the ideal. It is not a simple case of adopting one or two of them from the hero and matching them with what you basically have. More often than not, the result is incongruous and creates a parody of your person.

Perceptions are created by pretense aided by appropriate props and trappings associated to the ideal being copied. As we know in advertising and in image building, perceptions are like truths or near truths insofar as the beholder is concerned.

People’s expectations from the ersatz personality you have created for yourself will judge you as a failure or as a success. You have to be sure that you could live up to the promise that the pretense has created.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Lines to Remember 7 (Unjust Legacy)


“Ah Love! could you and I with him conspire
To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire
Would we not shatter it to bits--and then
Re-mould it nearer to the Heart's Desire?” Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

His father was the driver of Governor Isabelo Indice, the father of Gloria, the girl to whom he was hopelessly smitten. It was his resolve to cut cleanly from this forbidden yearning.

He could not ignore the weight of the biases and prejudices of centuries of serfdom and servility that was his family legacy. His father was a farmer who went to the city to become a family driver and his father before him tilled the soil of the cane fields of Iloilo and so with his great grandfather…sacadas all.

For the depth that he had dug into his ancestry there was not even a single vestige of highness in any of the generations. His family was of the soil…an indelible distinction as hard to deny as his flat-footedness which is said to be the stigma of a peasant ancestry.

So unfair…he felt that this was so unfair that he was destined for this earthly role that he could not extricate himself from. He raged and ranted for the sordidness of it all but he knew that his protestations were just echoes of familiar plaints of a million voices in the night.

(an adaptation from "Lonelines of a...")

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Lines to Remember 6 (Old Men At Leisure)


“How sweet it is to rest after doing nothing” Old Spanish Proverb

Two old gentlemen were on a fishing boat discussing fish, the open sea, fishing spots, types of fishing and anything that has some association with their present activity. After a long time of waiting for a bite they run out of things to say on the topic.

One said “So what do you plan on doing after going back to shore?”“

I don’t know. These days I never ask nor think what next?”

“Me too, at the moment all I think about is a bite, just one teeny weeny bite.”

“I am sure before we are through you will have something” the second gentleman said.

“When we boarded the boat I had imagined a marlin will strike my line but now that we have been here for more than two hours … I would be happy just to have something a little bigger than my bait to bite.”

“Check the bait, it’s been there too long.”

He started to crank the handle of his reel to bring in the line. A baitless hook emerged… “Darn! Darn! It got away with my bait again.”

“I’m getting tired of this, myself, why don’t we pack up and head for shore?”

They told the boatman to pull up anchor. The boatman tidied up the boat, refilled his gasoline tank and pumped out water that has accumulated in the hull. He was without expression as he went about his chores. He probably didn’t want to offend the two gentlemen by making a tactless remark about their inability to catch fish. Not a snicker nor a wry smile could be drawn from his dried and tanned face. It wasn’t the time for fishing and here were two rare birds fishing out of season. The chance of a repeat of hiring him was his wish and prayer.

Back at the house they sauntered lazily by the veranda. It was an unproductive day. The boat ride was not bad but they could have paid much less for a boat ride than when they chartered a boat for fishing. It didn’t really matter all that much. Both guys have just retired from their professions and money, at least not the amount of money one paid for this leisure, was of consequence.

“What about the rest of the day?”

“What rest of the day? I intend to just lie around and think of ways to get back at the fish who just snubbed us this morning.”

“So, what then for tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. Maybe a round of golf or try our luck at the casino.”

The dialogue went on suggesting all sorts of things that they can do in the morrow.

“Would you like a beer…perhaps some red wine? It’s good for the heart they say.”

“That’s a great idea for tomorrow. Maybe we can just sit around the veranda and have beer and wine all day. Let’s ask the cook to get us a “maliputo”, “alimango” or a slice of “liempo” from the market and then have a really long, long lunch.”

“And then…?”

“I don’t know...rest, I guess."

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Lines to Remember 5 (Creativity)


“To see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wildflower... hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour...”

What awesome powers our minds have. Our minds imagine, transform, create, and realize the unimaginable, the sublime and the magical.

We sometimes surprise ourselves with the creation of something of value, a familiar, yet, unaccustomed amazement; a serendipitous moment.

Man has it in him to think beyond the plains of reality and the realm of the obvious. He is capable of wondrous thoughts and creations. Creativity is a god given inheritance, a gift that reveals our ancestry; it is a touch of our divine legacy.

William Blake expressed this amazing potential that we are all heir to.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Lines to Remember 4 (Winning Attitude)


‘The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,But in ourselves, that we are underlings.” (Julius Caesar, 1.2.135)

Our full potential is stymied by our low regard of ourselves. We accept too easily that being human means that we are prone to error and that we can’t help being inept.

All these weaken our resolve to be better than what we are because we have set the limits and often we reach them long before we have finished setting them up.

Then we protest our piteous state and look for the blame everywhere else except in our own circumstance.

Every human being is capable of achieving the highest he could ever be; it’s just that even on our best runs we always find a way to lose because we don’t believe we can win.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Lines to Remember 3 (True Love)


“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." Khalil Gibran

How easily we blame ourselves when our loved ones turn their backs on us for the silliest reason and even only for a nonce. If it comes from those we truly love and from those we think have sincerely loved us no matter how briefly, then it must have been an undeserved change of heart.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Lines To Remember 2 (A Country's Malaise)


"Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high:
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
by narrow domestic walls;
Where the words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into
The dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening
Thought and action-
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake."
(From Gitanjali)


(an abridgement of an earlier post)

I can understand necessity as a strong motive that got us into the morass we are in. The motivation of a hungry stomach, the shivering cold of the homeless, the exaggerated sense of gratitude of sycophants placed in undeserved positions, those in close proximity, relatives and cronies scrambling at crumbs like remoras clinging to a shark, those under some kind of duress and those overly paid doers of the unthinkable deeds on behalf of the big ones of both the opposition and the administration. While these do not mitigate their acts there is at least an iota of an explanation for their behavior.

How else could one explain the loyalty of a coterie of supposedly good and honest men who are given high posts or the loyalty, however evanescent, of the corrupt military.

Then there is the Media. It is lamentable the way they have succumbed to the lure of the lucre. There isn’t an hour on prime time where you don’t hear the playing up of rumors and the unsubtle goading of media personalities to fire up the emotions of the rabble. Media in their advertising blurbs unabashedly declare how virtuous and courageous they are in airing without fear and with impartiality the current events; but aren’t these just readings of scripts in press kits provided by partisan groups?

They are purveying hellish heralds that would make Goehring’s Nazi propaganda look amateurish. The forces of the dark side have harnessed the best and the brightest of our communicators. It has not spared the brightest sons and daughters of our advertising community. They have lent their expertise to forward the cause of the damned.

More than ever I am now convinced that robber barons are descended upon us. I am enjoining the young and decent, the still uncorrupted to fight and if you cannot beat them don’t join them but flee to climes where you can raise your children in an upright way, where heroes are truly deserving of emulation, where the corrupt rich are shamed rather than idolized.

I see little hope. Given another ten years most of our precious young would have joined the legion of damned or if they are not able to join they would be wallowing in the misery of poverty or be a part of the hunted underground community of the upright, the decent, and the respectable.

Lines to Remember 1 (Impermanence)
















“What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower,
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind,
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.”
(from "Intimations of Immortality From Recollections of Early Childhood")

When we look at today’s progress we are awestruck by the quantum leaps most technical fields have taken and the astounding cultural heights achieved by human endeavor. We may remark, like the Renaissance man did, when he basked in the glory of early inventions and in the flowering of the arts during his time “…how great man is, how beautiful in aspect and how noble in purpose”.

Yet, this is but a collective comfort which benefits selective individuals or groups of individuals, a hedonistic and self centered view. At an essential level there doesn’t seem to be much to cheer about since decline seems to be the nature of all things. The moment we are born starts the trek towards our demise; from womb to tomb as they say. The impermanence of things looms ever so large and we often despair in its shadows.

I find solace in the classic lines taken from William Wordsworth’s “Intimations of Immortality From Early Recollections of Childhood”. While it accepts the inevitable inconstancy of life it reminds us that the human mind does prevail over all.

For whatever it is worth I have taken the liberty to reprint these classic lines which stirred me in my youth and console me now. I know that this is but a puny effort, a pail of water in the vast ocean of its renown, but by chance, it can remind those who may have forgotten and make aware those who have not read it before.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Maria Cristina Neighbors - The Gerozagas

The Gerozagas

It was seven thirty in the morning and Mang Kiko walked about the veranda which was almost filled up with wooden racks used in drying up the silk screened posters of the night before. He touched the black print of one and felt for any sign of moistness. He then touched it once more this time with more pressure to see if it smudged. Contented with his inspection he began to take the posters from their drying racks and piled them neatly on top of each other.

In a few minutes the kids in the neighborhood will come knocking and bring their colored posters done the day before and collect their measly fifty to eighty centavos worth of coloring job which Mang Kiko paid. Once paid they would get a few more posters to color for the day.

Mang Kiko was into the silk screening of posters used as learning aids in classrooms. He would silk screen the line drawings of Philippine flowers, insects, local fruits, animals and sometimes maps of the various Philippine islands. Once the black and white drawings have been rendered the figures were colored by a water based paint. The finished products were delivered to schools and school supply stores.

On the side of the veranda was a small clearing reserved for the mahjong table. It was a moveable location that depended on the wind direction of the day and at the time of day. His house was beside the estero and wind that wafted coming from the open sewer can sometimes be so bad smelling, enough to suspend play for a few minutes to transfer to another location in the veranda. It was a question of staying beside the estero where most of the time it was breezy and the stench bearable or go to the farther end of the veranda and go through rearranging some of the drying racks to give space for the mahjong table.

There won’t be any need to move the mahjong table he thought as he surveyed the estero surface. It rained the night before and the debris and the flotsam that usually dotted the surface of the estero were not there. The estero was flowing strongly and it promised to be a fine day, a day with out much stench and without the sordid sight of accumulated garbage.

Mrs. Godinez will soon be there for the mahjong. She was very prompt as she timed her leaving her sari sari store five minutes after Mr. Godinez had left for work. After a few minutes from the time her husband had made the turn towards Espana she would proceed to the Gerozagas to secure a seat for herself in the quorum. Her husband was against her playing and the last time he caught her a scandalous confrontation that spilled out in the street happened. From then on Mrs. Godinez would post an early warning boy towards late afternoon to alert her should Mr. Godinez be home from work early. She would compensate the boy with a bottle of softdrinks and a "mamon" for his trouble.

The house of the Gerozagas was one of the two houses at the end of Maria Cristina. The other one is the Roman residence. Both houses are by the estero which marked the end of the eskinita.

Before the Gerozagas, two other families used to occupy the house. The first one were the Concepcions and before the Gerozagas, the Ahorros. I have not ascertained which family owned the house because it was possible that one or two of them were just renting it.

Mang Kiko was the head of the family. I have a vague memory of Mrs. Gerozaga. All I can remember was that she was always at the mahjong table in the veranda of their house playing with a regular group of housewives and sometimes with some of the younger guys in the neighborhood. Pete, my brother, would play with them at times. We used to invest part of our weekly allowance on Pete who excelled in the game and invariably won whenever he played with this group.

The oldest of Mang Kiko’s children was Nena who was married to Fred Fernando, a young lawyer and the son of the owner of a botica in Trabajo St. The two other children were Mario and Julia.


Mang Kiko provided employment to most of the kids in Maria Cristina. He would pay us on a piece meal basis for every poster that we have colored. For the more adept, carving the silk screen was a higher paid chore. The prices he paid depended on the complexity of the drawings and the number of colors to be used. The prices would range from twenty centavos for the simplest poster up to fifty centavos for the more intricate designs such as flowers and the Philippine map.

Almost every kid in the neighborhood would have painted one of the posters of Mang Kiko. It kept us out of mischief and helped augment the meager allowance we had for school. You could say that it was a blatant and opportunistic use of child labor but on the other hand for kids with nothing much to do during weekends it was a veritable source of money for a movie in the Mercury theater and cool treats in the Sison ice drop factory farther down Trabajo St. It might even have helped some of the kids in the neighborhood to develop an appreciation of colors in the art of painting as well as hone their technical skills in drawing. There is no way of confirming this. I haven’t heard of anyone coming from Maria Cristina who made a name for himself in the art world. But then one never knows.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Maria Cristina Neighbors - The Garchitorenas

The Garchitorenas

The Mercury theater occupied a whole block from Trabajo St. to Maria Cristina and its side fronted Espana Boulevard. This movie-house was an integral part of my development when I was growing up in the Sampaloc district of Manila.

Being the bigger street, Trabajo, was where the lobby of theater was situated. Alongside Espana were four wide fire exit gates and on the Maria Cristina end were the exit doors of the toilets which were opened only during emergencies. As a young boy I would sneak in with the help of Ising, the “takilyera” who was a friend of my older sisters. There were times that I would be able to get in for free in what was referred to as “a la berde”, a free for all that happens when somebody shouts “fire!!!” causing movie goers to stream out of the emergency exits then back again when the furor died down. This happened at least once a week.

The movie-house was three houses away from our Maria Cristina residence. I remember as a child I could hear the sound track of all the movies that were being shown from my bed. There was gunfire as good guys and the bad guys get into a confrontation, the William Tell overture as the blue coats save the day for the westward settlers who have formed a circle of Conestoga wagons staving off Apache marauders. What was memorable was the music from Broadway shows like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Carousel, Oklahoma and other popular Broadway musicals.

The owner of the movie-house was Mr. Garchitorena, a Spaniard married to a Filipina. I have long forgotten how they look like. What has remained in my mind was they were a corporeal pair. They have three children the oldest was Henry, followed by Serafin and their youngest was Rose.

Henry was into designing lamps and had a shop in Ermita named Henry’s Art. Ermita was not yet the hell hole that it is now. The neighborhood boasted of some of the elegant houses with small but well manicured front lawns. You could still see vestiges of its past glory with well kept old houses in the Remedios circle and in the immediate environs. It’s proximity to Dewey Blvd. (now Roxaz Blvd.) made it popular to tourists and through the years of catering to all sorts of foreigners it deteriorated to become the red light district of Manila.

Henry had a beautiful daughter, Helen, who was popular with the younger set of Manila society. She graced the covers of magazines and would appear on television talk shows whenever Manila’s debutantes were featured. My last recollection of her was in my wife’s fashion house in the David Gan building in Shaw Blvd.

Mike Gan, a son of the owner of the building is married to Rose the youngest among the Garchitorenas. We were quite close and we used to go out for social occasions and for black jack sessions which Mike organized with his other friends. Mike was a likeable fellow. He was easy going and would sometimes get into naughty capers. My friend Bobby Kraut was his professor in de Lasalle in Marketing and Advertising referred to him good naturedly as a “son of a Gan”. Rose and my wife Alma got along famously and for a while stayed as close friends until she had to give up her businesses in the David Gan Bldg. after failing to recover from a fire that gutted her shop.

Serafin, nicknamed Egie was the middle child. He was my classmate in Instituto de Mujeres supposedly a school for girls but allowed young boys in kindergarten. Taking after his parents, Egie was big and tall. What was memorable about him was his mellifluous boy soprano voice. Even as a young child he would sing with much confidence and gusto the songs Amapola and Amor. Later on Egie would turn professional. The last I saw of him was when he performed on television as a guest of Pilita Corrales.

Their house was right beside ours. We were separated by a low concrete wall and a Macopa tree. They sold their Maria Cristina house and were among the first to leave the neighborhood. It has been a long while since I have seen any of the Garchitorenas.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

College Days At Random (early sixties)

During my college days I remember getting into a fight in Quiapo. Jing Montealegre together with Jun Molabola and I just finished a few beers in one of the small restaurants along Quezon Boulevard near the Times Theater. I had a 7:30 class in Humanities and would just have enough time to negotiate the distance to the University gates and would probably be in time for my name to be called at roll call. Both Jing and Jun didn’t have classes anymore at that hour and would be proceeding to the Radio Room in the Science Building as was their usual wont. The Radio Room was the office of Sarah Joaquin, the head of the Speech and Drama Department. The room was used as a place for doing play rehearsals, a hanging out place and a place where the drama guild officers discussed projects and forthcoming activities.

As I hurriedly stepped out of the restaurant I bumped into a tough looking young man who was playing cara y cruz by the sidewalk with his friends. He lost control of his toss and the coins went tumbling and rolling a few feet away from where they were squatted in a huddle. He did not listen to my instinctively blurted apology; instead he grabbed me by the lapel of my shirt with his right hand and threw a punch with his left. I parried his lunge but got my cheeks grazed with his watch. Not letting go of his hold on my lapel he was down on his haunches and was poised to deliver a follow up blow when all of a sudden his right hand grip loosened and the wiry body crumpled on the pavement floor. Jun hit him on the nape with a karate chop that needed no follow up. He went out like a light. At first the rest of the guys stood up from their huddle to get into the fray but seeing their friend slumped and Jun putting on a menacing karatedo stance, they slinked away one by one into the interior of small shops in between restaurants, department stores and movie houses. Jun was a blackbelter in Karate, a graeco-roman wrestler and an amateur boxer for the university. He looked formidable and intimidating with his cauliflower ears, scarred brows and knobby fists.

Jun, who was used to brawls in city streets pushed Jing and I forward and told us to walk briskly and not to look back. He will take care of the rear. We could not stay a bit longer. He knew that the guys will regroup, probably armed, will come back to assuage their hurt pride and wreak vengeance on us.

The moment we crossed Azcarraga we knew that we were home safe. The university entrance with its guardhouse was just a few meters away from the corner of Azcarraga and Quezon Boulevard. The security guards who were mostly students belonging to the martial arts and boxing teams of the university were friends of Jun and I was acquainted with quite a few. Some of them were my classmates while others were nodding friends from my hanging out in the security headquarters with my friend Rollie whose father was the chief of the security forces in the school.

The following day the radio room was bustling with activity. There were two plays that had finished its casting and were now at the phase were the cast were throwing lines as early preparation for staging. The first group was a small one and they found a place at the far end of the room after the tv set, while the other group a much bigger crowd sat in the sofa and the side chairs near the door.

Job Montecillo was directing the play “Incident At A Graveyard”. In his cast were Waldy Carbonell, Lynette Siapo and I think Nelson Padilla was in it too.

I was with the play of Lorraine Hansberry “A Raisin In the Sun” with Amiel Leonardia as director. I had a minor role as George Murchison while Chito Avelino and CielitoPilar played the lead roles of Joseph Asagai and Beneatha Younger respectively. We were going quite smoothly until Chito had the case of the giggles. He was delivering the line “You’re breaking my mother’s good china…” which sounded like “…breaking my mother’s vagina…” he got himself into this laughing rut and we had to skip to the next act because there was no way he could go on with the line.

Jing had a role in Job’s play but he was nowhere around. Conspicuously absent too, was Flo. Flo, was one of the more mature ladies who hang around the radio room. I think she was secretary to an admin department. She was a fixture in the room together with Sonia, a lady who taught English and who was madly infatuated with my Humanities professor, Jes Cruz; and then there was the department secretary, Nicky, Miss Goody Two Shoes who was confidant to all.

Flo was never away from the Radio Room and Jing to be not around for initial play practice was unheard of. I was the least surprise because I knew that there was something going on. Flo was quite the experienced woman. She, at that time, was rumored to be in dalliance with one of the university biggies. Jing was the easily seduced little lost boy with mestizo charms who sang protest songs like “…they’re rioting in Africa, they’re starving in Spain; There are hurricanes in Florida; and Texas needs rain…” to put on the radical chic effect which was cool at that time.

Job was the president of the Drama Guild while I was his vice president. It was surprising that they voted me into that position when I was not a Speech and Drama major. I just hang around the Radio Room for the lack of place to go and also to be around a pretty thing who started appearing in the radio room. Alma San Juan was newly transferred from UP and had just enrolled in FEU for a Speech and Drama course. I was not into Speech and Drama but every now and then I would be given a role in a play only because there wasn’t anybody else. Job was a very responsible person who truly deserved to be president of the guild. I was glad he was the president because I didn't have the ability nor the inclination to do things for the Guild. He was also a serious student of Drama. Job who was a Cebuano was a good singer who sang Sinatra songs and was also adept, like most Cebuanos, at playing the guitar.

It was a great time to be a literature major in FEU. Despite its checkered reputation for academic excellence the Institute of Arts English Department at that time boasted of having literary luminaries like Jose Garcia Villa in their faculty. Villa who was also known as Doveglion, dove-eagle-lion because of his literary prowess that soared and roared bravely in Philippine literature with his avant garde verses and “comma-tose” (an unfortunate pun) poems. Villa was among those who recognized the genius of Nick Joaquin and helped Joaquin's first access to literary limelight. Another literary lion who taught at FEU at that time was Greg Brillantes, brilliant raconteur and master of the written word whose pieces like “The Distance From Andromeda” shone brightly underneath the Philippine literary firmament. The short story was the genre of competence for him. Other short stories like “A Mission for Heroes”, “On a Clear Day in November…” and “The Cries of Children…” will etch his name deeply in our literature. He taught short story writing in FEU.

Another slightly less heralded genius among the literati was Dr. Benito Reyes who taught Oriental Literature at the Institute of Arts and Sciences at FEU.
Dr. Reyes wrote the lyrical “Moments Without Self”. I was so inspired by him as he introduced us to Asian mystic and religious literature like Ramayana, Bhagavadjita, Zend Avesta , Mahabharata and the Panchatantra. Through him I became aware of the vivid imagery of the writings of India’s literature laureate, Rabindranath Tagore. Reading a few lines from Gitanjali and I was a captive for life of his work. Later on I would discover Khalil Gibran and add him as one of my idols.

Dr. Reyes said that the world abounds in beautiful literature and it would be enough if one were to concentrate on a few well chosen works and really squeeze every little juice of enjoyment from them. I remember him encouraging us to do this. In fact he posed a challenge to our class that if we were to memorize the “Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam” in its entirety we don’t have to attend his class but appear on the last day and recite the Rubaiyat. Just one day in his class and we get the passing grade. I passed up the challenge because there was so much to learn in his classroom and I could always refer to the printed Rubaiyat at anytime if wantedto learn and enjoy a few stirring lines.

One fellow who took up the challenge was Jing Montealegre. After Dr. Reyes made the proposition, Jing stood up and said “…you’re on. See you in three months”. I did not witness the recitation myself but my classmates said that Jing recited the Rubaiyat not in the classroom but in the faculty room of the English Department where he was given an ovation by the faculty members who were there at that time.

It was a nice experience. It was as if you were touched by a god. To be in the classroom with these special personages was an experience that would stay on for a long time. However, in retrospect, I find that it did not do much for me except for having been awestruck and starstruck for some moments. I don’t remember having completed my classes with Villa nor with Brillantes for it seemed that they had the privilege to be inconstant with their classroom appearances.

One can understand that much of their time was sought after by so many and appearing in the classroom in FEU was the least that could compete with the other options they had for their time. And so it goes. I was quick to lose interest after their consecutive non-appearances and dropped out on them to pursue other more interesting in-school endeavors.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Butterfly That Stayed
















He peered through the small crack of an unfolding chrysalis and had a glimpse of a pervasively green world awaiting his emergence. He was feeling a bit encumbered by the humid enclosure and his still to be unfurled wings was wrapped by a fragile gossamer thread which in any instant would break and allow him to struggle out of his dim and cozy comfort into the dangerous but exciting world of bright lights and frenetic flutters.

As he eased himself out of the dried hatch, his left wing pushed out to a stretch that was amazingly far and, now, gaining more confidence he did the same to his right wing. The slightly moist new wings quivered with clumsiness and with impatience. It was an impatience to become a glorious and delicate symmetrical pair of wings that would allow him to cavort with a hundred others who have emerged at almost the same instance in the flower garden.

He did seem much like the others and despite the grace and agility by which he flitted from flower to flower it was something that got lost in the uniformity of the choreograph-like movements and in the sameness of shimmering brilliance that white butterflies exuded as a bunch on a sunlit garden.

But he sensed that he was different. Sure, he was a beautifully emerged white butterfly but so were the others. He knew that on the day that he came out as a butterfly he would be destined to do a singular act. He would play a role that the others despite their resplendence would just watch in envy.

He was born in a butterfly farm. Together with hundreds of other butterflies they were being farmed and sold later on to grace all sorts of celebrations. Today they were off to be a part of the funeral rites of an important person. He was a celebrity, a good husband, caring father and a doting grandfather. In his lifetime he had been well known and loved by many not only by fans but by those who have been close to him as family, as business associate, as benefactor and as a personal friend.

Butterflies are representations of the Psyche or the soul and in the rites they were to be released to signify the freedom of the soul from its mundane shackles. It is not only for this significance that butterflies are used they are also an awesome yet solemn sight as their fluttering whiteness blur the air in exuberant flight.

At the end of the mass he was released from the paper cocoon that held him up to the right moment. He felt an ecstatic relief to be suddenly freed from the harsh paper cocoon and seeing the others flitting in groups and others unable to get their bearings with the sudden burst of freedom flew erratically in singles, some alighting in the candelabra, some in the coiffures of grieving ladies and then some on the pews.

He hovered for a while amidst the swirl of white butterflies. Then he sensed a powerful presence that held him and that he knew it was him. He willingly surrendered his body to him. In an instant he was him and he was nothing.
He has fulfilled his act of kindness. He gave his body to become the vessel of the soul of the departed in order to console the grieving widow with memorable last moments with the beloved.

The white butterfly stayed on with the casket. It made the trip from the church to crematorium. It perched steadfastly at the head of the casket despite well meaning shooing-aways from some members of the grieving kin. When finally they had to bring the casket to the crematorium chamber the white butterfly skipped and alighted on the index finger of the widow as if in reassurance that he is with them through all these trials and would continue to be by their side in the coming years.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

"Good night sweet prince.."

My brother Pete Roa died less than a week ago. In death as in life he was one who dared to be different. At his death bed he talked with Boots, his wife, and gave out instructions on how the last act of his mortal drama would be blocked, what scenery would serve as backdrop, the dramatis personae to be on stage as the curtains fell and the kind of music that would that would be scored in the grand finis. Pete did not rage against the dying of the light, he was thankful for having been made aware of its coming for it gave him time to prepare for his destined personal appearance with his Lord and Maker

Being the youngest boy in a family of five sons and three daughters I was volunteered by one of my sisters to do the eulogy on behalf of all of them. Ostensibly outranked it was seconded by a chorus before I could produce a suffused and dissenting whine.

It had been four consecutive late nights that we had gone through. All four nights have been spent chatting with friends and relatives and waiting for opportunities to sing for Pete accompanied by Arminio. Pete’s favorite piano player, Arminio had long years’ acquaintance with him, He played the piano at Auberge Philippines, an eating place in Washington which Pete managed during the early eighties.

On the day of the cremation I woke up feeling a bit heavy, a condition brought about by a pesky asthmatic grating in my chest and the tiredness that has began to assert itself after having only short sleeps in the last four days.

There wasn’t time to prepare a well thought of piece for my brother. I woke up at nine in the morning and the mass preceding the cremation was to start at eleven. I searched my mind for anecdotes which would be worth relating and some lines or a famous quote that would be appropriate for Pete.

Recalling the picture collage which showed photos of Pete during his boyhood and his early career in radio and television I picked up a few as starting points for my remembrances.

What follows is my best recollection of what I said in my Eulogy.

I am Eddie Roa, a younger brother of Pete. There are eight of us siblings three of whom are girls and five boys. Pete is the sixth in the family, a position in the family that would not bear any special psychological significance unlike those of being the youngest and the eldest. But Pete did not need any of these usual familial order advantage to be special. He was Pedro N Roa, God’s special child and in his youth a prince of a boy to our elderly relatives from Cagayan de Oro and Cavite

Being younger than him I would be the recipient of his generous nature as I was at the farthest end of a long chain of hand me downs. As the youngest the last buck stops at me. Kidding aside, Pete had been most generous to me specially at the time that he was reaping success as a young television personality and I was cutting my teeth in advertising.

I remember Tio Anton Cosin, mayor of Tagoloan, a town in the outskirts of Cagayan de Oro who was married to Tia Iling, my father’s older sister. Tio Anton is the stepfather of Dongkoy Emano, formerly congressman of Misamis Oriental and now mayor of Cagayan de Oro.
Every time he comes to Manila for a vacation the first person he would look for was Pete. Pete was his favorite nephew who would serve as his guide and factotum during his stay in Manila.

If any one of you would recall the photo of Pete in the collage that was set up during the wake you would have noticed the caption Senator Pedro Roa typed out on the picture. This was Tio Anton’s doing. He had the confidence that Pete, someday would become a senator of the land and had put his bold prediction in black and white.

They have had several capers together. An unlikely pair, Tio Anton almost sixty at that time together with Pete who was a preteener would get out of the house early in the morning and would proceed downtown to go to the Mayon gag-shop in Raon and pick up the latest booby contraptions such as leaking drinking glasses, hand shake shockers, fake animal and human droppings and others which he would bring home to Mindanao to bedevil his friends during parties.

One incident that would always be a part of his remembered capers with Tio Anton was the time that my uncle convinced Pete to accompany him to Inday theater, a place that was notorious for holding sleazy shows known as “burlesk” at that time. Pete stayed outside the theater and waited for my uncle by the Santa Cruz Church. There was a commotion at the lobby of the theater. People were rushing out of the doors by the hundreds. What had happened was the mayor of Manila “Arsenic” Lacson conducted a raid. What was remarkable was how Pete was able to get the old man out of scrapes and that he had taken him back home unscathed.

Another picture in the collage that brought back fine memories was that of my Mom pinning a medal on Pete. I recall how proud Mom was as she mounted the stage in the old Ateneo “sawali” auditorium in Padre Faura. My mother who was a stickler for discipline and a tireless nag on our study habits was seldom rewarded for her efforts and Pete having given her this honor could not do anything wrong henceforth.

The performing arts was Pete’s passion. He excelled in drama and in the course of his association with this artistic endeavor he had produced, directed and acted in several memorable plays. His being a student of speech and drama was just a convenient expression of what his school activities were. He never attended a single classroom but would have much more to say and do about drama than most of his professors. Sarah K Joaquin, the grand dame of Philippine theater at that time recognized his talent and fully supported Pete’s seeming casual regard and non scholarly practice of the art.

Less known to people was Pete’s genius in the art of the Dance. Pete appeared in several dance presentations at the CCCP. He was a prodigy of the master dancer,Lucio Sandoval. In his high school years he choreographed a full length musical drama which was successfully presented by the FEU Girl’s High School.

His terpsichorean skills resurfaced as he hosted the first Teenage Music Dance program in Philippine television, Dance-O-Rama.

The Roa family is better known in the blah world of numbers. Our areas of competence are in mathematics, statistics and actuarial sciences. My father together with my uncle and two of his sons were all actuaries. The actuarial society of the Philippines then only had seven members and four of them were Roas. Even I myself, to the surprise of my father, ended up playing the numbers game, so to speak, as a market researcher. I do not intend to demean this trade but even my father joked about its low key nature. A favorite joke was about the definition of an actuary and most people at that time would say that an actuary is a repository of dead actors. That's how obscure their trade was.

One significant contribution that Pete made to our family I think was his having put the family name from relative anonymity into something more memorable. He added a tag of glamour and excitement on the family name which was of course enhanced even much more with his marriage to Boots Anson.

Pete, us your siblings would like to express our love and our pride for having had you as a brother. Thank you dear one.

I would like to send you off with a phrase coming from your favorite Shakespearean drama, Hamlet. In the words of Horatio I quote…

“Good night sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!”